At a Laos end

I've just arrived at Houay Xai (Houei Say/Huay Sei etc etc, it seems 1 name just isn't enough when you're within spitting distance of two other countries) and have an afternoon to kill before catching a boat to Luang Prabang tomorrow. I had the choice of the slowboat (2 days with gap year students getting drunk) or the fastboat, (7 hours in a canoe type thing with an engine loosely stuck on the back which propels it fast enough to gain it the moniker of "the death boat" with locals). Anyone who knows me should not be surprised that I've gone for the latter option as it just seemed so enticing.

I arrived in Laos on the 22nd and immediately caught a bus to Vang Vieng which got in just in time for the Champions League final. It was disappointing then that after being up for 40 odd hours I fell asleep as soon as I found a hotel and woke up the next morning having comfortably missed the game. Balls. Vang Vieng is a tourist hot spot and is very much somewhere you would either love or despise depending on whether you like drink, drugs, floating down rivers in tubes and watching non stop episodes of friends. As none of those are high on my list of likes I went of for a 2 day trek & kayak in the surrounding area which was great as it is in a beautiful location. It was just a shame about the tourists really... Oh, and my guide who hopefully you'll get an insight of if I can upload a video he took while kayaking. Actually I was quite impressed that on a kayak trip with two stops at riverside cafes he got 3 girls numbers. I believe the police have a word for people like him... He actually offered to take me out to a secret restaurant where we could eat dog, get drunk then chat up some "foreign ladies". Sadly I failed to appear at the designated meeting spot that evening due to a particularly difficult kiss curl which I couldn't straighten.

From there a nice 6 hour bus ride took me to Luang Prabang. Well I say nice, maybe unpleasant would be a better description as it was 40 degrees and the air conditioning that had been advertised seemed to actually just involve leaving everything open including the door. Oh also I don't even come close to fitting in the seats due to the lack of leg room but if I'm honest that has hardly come as a surprise as the locals aren't exactly massive in stature.

I'll write more about Luang Prabang and onwards over the next couple of days but seeing as I've just done a 6 hour bus ride to my current location with my knees lodged firmly into my ears sitting down for much longer is an unattractive prospect right now.

Hope all's well with everyone,

Keg

Nothing to Laos...

Just to say that I'm off to Laos for two weeks from tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be alive to report back some time around the 6th.

Until then...

keg

Well I wasn't supposed to be back in the office for another week but after an incident involving a waterfall, a loose boulder, my foot and a 6-10ft fall I decided to rest my legs and come down a bit earlier. To be honest it was mostly so i would be 100% fit for my Laos trip which starts on the 21st. Not that I jumped at the chance to do a bit less work you understand...

Actually I got off lightly, on my second day one of the guys from the local village who help us managed to stab himself in the eye with a tree branch. Unlike me he was not going to stop working until we forced him too. Thankfully he just seemed to have caught the white part so his vision should be fine. Even so if you stab yourself in the eye it's wise to take a few days off.

Also I needed a break from the one English speaking guy who keeps on saying "it's bloody dem" and "or whatevers" in every sentence. It was funny at first but now I want to feed him to the local wildlife. This may also have been also partly due to having a distinct lack of sleep which was mostly brought on by some insect which started chirruping away from 1am-4am every night. What was even more annoying was that every time I eventually got out of bed to find it it promptly stopped. So very irritating.

Much better news was that we acquired a monkey skull guardian thanks to Lassi (pictured below with said skull) who found it lying around and decided it would make a nice addition to the camp. He also caught a deer (I'm still not 100% on exactly how) which was served for the next few days so the food was pretty good this week too...


Work mapping the creeks continued with more waterfalls getting in the way:


Which led to Lassi and I having to walk down vertical mud slopes instead:

Alternatively of course you can just get a machete out and chop footholds into a tree which has fallen over it...


I had some interesting visitors, the best of which was this chap who seemed to enjoy doing absolutely nothing for 10 hours other than sitting by my bed and being quite big

Which I guess gave him something in common with this snail:


Not entirely sure why I've included this guy but he certainly was shiny. He also had a head that made me think of the waiting room scene in beetlejuice.

Finally when they're not working the local crew go out and collect ratan vines which they then make into all sorts of wicker-esque objects. I want to have a go but it looks like quite a skilled job which requires patience so I'm not too sure any efforts I make will be met with much success. Also as a side note everyone here smokes pretty much constantly. It's amazing, they must all be on at least 40 a day. I read up on the cigarettes they smoke (kreteks - basically containing clove) and apparently the tar content is so high they're illegal in Europe. Lovely.


Beard Update: 1 month on and it's, well, a bit shit. Look at my comfy pillow though, even the hard and pointy plastic buckles are soothing on my head while I sleep. So comfortable...


In the office until the 21st now but then I've got 2 weeks in Laos. It's a hard life...

No kidding

At the moment I'm still waiting to head back into the jungle due to not being allowed access to the site thanks to some petty bickering between two local groups. One is a group of old villagers who used to have a say about this sort of thing (but no longer do) and the other is a newer body set up by the regional government (and who are therefore technically in charge). In theory there would be no problems as legally we have access however seeing as most of the old ruling body are still well respected tactically this would be a bad move. All in all it's resulted in me having a fair few days stuck in the office trying to avoid being asked to make geological maps and the like. It was during one of these moments of doing my utmost to avoid work that trouble struck. Well I say trouble, it would probably be better referred to as "a child". You see I'd decided to head out in order to replenish my private supply of edible food, sadly I chose the exact same time as a horde of schoolchildren. Seeing as the shop is a good 10 minute walk they had plenty of time to say hello, ask me my name, laugh at my height. I was hoping that once I'd been to the shop and retraced my steps they would stop following and, for the most part, they did. All except one that is. Having effectively played Grandmother's footsteps with me on the walk home he then decided to sit at the end of the drive from where he proceeded to just stare at the office. For 4 hours. Finally I saw him leave so went outside to get a bit of fresh air. It was only then I noticed that he had in fact walked round the back of the office and was standing about 20m away in the paddy field that occupies that space where he stood for another hour at least. Very strange behaviour. Clearly I'm going to have write to Stephen King to find out what happens next but I'm betting it's odds on that this is turning into a shining rehash with me stuck somewhere having accepted a job offer in an out the way location before being driven crazy by strange children. Still, probably better than a misery rehash to be honest.


Now where did I put that axe?...